The hotel we are staying in is the top hotel here in the town. Now, we've already touched on the all night family Skype session we've been unintentionally invited too, but unfortunately there's more. And it's been pretty consistent.
Hubs stayed here back in December when he was applying for his work permit to get us into the country the first time around and he had a horrible time on his own, for the first time in Russia and not knowing any Russian. This go-round, the staff has been nothing but friendly and we have had extraordinary luck with finding at least one staff member who can speak enough English to get us through dinner.
Our problems may have started our first night, but they certainly didn't lose any momentum going into the next day. Not only are we jet lagged from our trip to America, but Siberia is another two hours ahead of Moscow, which throws us off even more. Somehow I manage to stumble out of bed and get to the shower. I already know that I won't do a description of this shower any justice, but it looks like some crazy scientist was trying to build a time travel/teleport pod, failed and put some shower heads in it. (Brilliant really. And a good reminder to never accept failure, kids...) I've seen some complicated showers in my day, but I'm a smart gal. I figure most of them out. This? This was too much.
I pushed a lot of buttons and it made for an uncomfortably hot shower with cold water, which was weird. Come to find out, the pod doubles as a sauna, so I was getting some pretty intense sauna steam while unable to control the temperature of the water. Once I that got figured out, I could halfway enjoy my sometimes hot, sometimes cold shower water. I still don't know what controls that, but there are worse things in life. And, honestly, the Russians probably take showers with extreme hot and cold water like that because, like vodka, its good for your overall health and wellbeing.
Hubs gets in the shower next and suddenly the water is completely dirty. It was a defining moment in our expat lives. The ever-present question of "is it just the way it is or should we tell someone?" So far, we had small experiences that led us to this question, but standing there in the bathroom, looking at the shower drain, watching straight dirt gather on the floor, this was a whole new tone with the question. Shit just got real. On the one hand, there was dirt in our shower water. On the other hand, Eastern Europeans and Russians really like mineral water, even over conventional medicine. Our fear of the answer to our question was cause enough to just let it go.
(Turns out it is not normal. And it hasn't happened again, so we're just gonna let it go. Down the drain, if you will...)
Meal times have been interesting and one of the only times in all of our struggles that make me want to laugh out loud in the moment. We walk in and if we have the unfortunate luck to be greeted by someone who knows zero English, we get a glazed over, bored look. Again, words can't do this picture justice, but it would be rude in any culture to snap a picture of someones face when they are clearly over you. Imagine the most disgruntled 15 year old, twenty minutes into a lecture about breaking curfew on a school night. Yeah, thats it. Then, just as quickly as she appeared, she disappears without a word and we're left wondering if she a. went to go get someone who speaks English, b. ignored us completely or c. is getting vodka and tweeting about how much she hates her job. Eventually someone else comes up who does know English and retrieves the only English menu for us to review.
The food is good, but fancy. Hubs had a $40 sirloin last night. A sirloin smothered in gravy. Weird and sad because one of the foods (if it can be called that...) that I've been craving since leaving the States has been gravy. I bought a bunch of gravy packets when we were home and plan to use them when I miss home. Comfort food is hard to come by in Russia, but apparently we've been ordering the wrong things.
I eat a lot of Caesar salads. In fact, while Hubs is at work, I have lunch on my own in the hotel and it's typically a Caesar salad and soup. Until today, when I asked for a Greek salad. I had gotten a little tired of the mayonnaise-based dressing and was ready for something a bit lighter. But I don't know how to say Greek in Russian, so my friend who has been my server every day for lunch happily brought me a Caesar salad. To be honest? I was thrilled. I absolutely love this girl, I want her to be my best friend. Every day, she speaks to me in English and I struggle through some basic phrases I know in Russian. She is far more advanced in her language learning that I, but I think she gets a real kick out of me trying. And through that, I really feel like we've bonded. She may be talking about how awful I am right now behind the bar, I may have fed her stereotype of Americans as crazy about Caesar salads or I may not even be a blip on her radar, but, when you're far from home, it's the little things that go a long way. Like a smile and speaking slowly so I can understand.
And there's breakfast. Sweet, sweet breakfast. It's not all good. Most mornings our meat has been a hot dog or variety of deli sliced meats (potentially horse, so we stay away...), some type of egg, fruits, veggies (the red bell peppers are AMAZING!!) and then there's this porridge stuff. At least thats what we call it. It was been served as a different texture every single morning we've been here but it is always good. The first morning, it was almost like a grain consistency, the next day, like rice, the next like cream of wheat and this morning it was like nothing else. I'm completely in love. I just want to gorge on this stuff, and I do. It usually comes with this apricot/marmalade/honey sauce and it. is. tasty. Hubs hates it, so it's probably a good thing that I don't know what it is because now I can't make it for us every meal of the day when we get back to Moscow. I will be on the hunt. I've gotten very good at grocery shopping based on the packaging pictures.
At the end of the day, we do have a mini-bar that is restocked not only with vodka, gin, whiskey ("beesky" in Russian) and Snicker bars, so nothing, not even dirty water can bring us down, right? And there's always music. Right now, in the hotel restaurant I am listening to a slow, jazzy cover of "Billy Jean" while a muted Taio Cruz music video plays on the tv. And our neighbor played some pretty sweet classic rock this morning. All things that make me smile.
Originally, I titled this blog "Love and Hotel Nightmares", but that's just not a fair statement. Or, maybe it is, but I'll let you be the judge.
Cheers to our nightmares and the sweetness that makes its way in despite our worst ones.
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