Hubs doesn't feel the same way as I do. (classic "middle child syndrome" if you ask me...) And it blows my mind. No one is fooling me into thinking that you don't want a day completely to yourself. A celebration of your birth and recognition by people that they are glad that it happened. An acknowledgement that life can be tough, but you did it for a whole year and should relax and treat yourself for it. And cake. I know you don't need an excuse to eat cake, you really don't even need an excuse to buy a cake with your name on it (they usually do it for free at HEB...) but this one day out of the year you get the cake, the name, the song the candles, the attention and primo slice of said cake. And while Hubs has sweet stories of childhood birthday memories, he's not much into celebrating as an adult. Lucky for him, he has me. Or so I thought.
Originally, we thought that we would be in Moscow for his birthday, and since our trip to Siberia was only supposed to take five days, I packed minimally to avoid the heavy suitcase and sarcastic comments about overpacking. When we figured out that this visa thing would take much longer and leave us in Siberia for both Hub's birthday and our one year anniversary, I was determined to make sure the party went on.
But then it rained for a solid week. And it was so cold. We stayed in the 40's and 50's for most of the week, which I did not pack for. As if it's not bad enough that I only packed for five days, I certainly didn't know the weather would fluxuate like this. The night before his birthday, I had a plan that would make sure that this year would be the best. I would brave the elements and scour the town for anything that looked even remotely like birthday cake, decorations and cards. I would write a sweet note, decorate our small hotel room and recreate all the favorite parts of a birthday right there in small-town Siberia.
But then, the worst happened. I had to go with Hubs to the office that day to sign the visa application and finish the paperwork. So there I was in the office, sitting next to the birthday boy with no chance of getting out and prepping for a memorable birthday.
I was devastated. I felt like a failure. My only job is to make this time away from home easier on my husband. To create an environment comfortable and memorable while we're so far away from our friends and family, who usually play the biggest roles in events like this. It got me thinking. What happens at Thanksgiving? Christmas? If I can't get it together for a simple birthday, something universally celebrated in all countries, how on earth would I put on a turkey dinner come November? It may sound a bit melodramatic, but it was an emotional day and I couldn't shake the sadness, the guilt and the homesickness. I dropped the ball.
But, Hubs pulled through yet again. I doubt he knew how far reaching my insecurities were about the failed birthday, but he was so gracious in his appreciation and joy. He's just that kind of guy. Just happy to be here.
In the end, we walked in the rain to a restaurant we knew would have pizza and Guiness. It wasn't the best pizza, a far cry from the dinner we had at our favorite pizza place back home last year, but Hubs reminded me that night that the best part of the birthday party equation was the two of us, and that was all he needed. I'm the smartest idiot alive to have married the kindest man and think that everything has to be perfect all the time. My cup runneth over.
We didn't have candles, but we had a lighter. And we didn't have a cake with his name on it, but we did order chocolate cheesecake. Our server didn't rally everyone to sing us "happy birthday" but I sang for the two of us to hear. All was right. By the time we left, the sun was back out and we walked back to the hotel to watch a movie on our tiny laptop screen. The best birthday? Meh, we'll do better in future year. A memorable birthday? Most definitely. Maybe not for Hubs, but certainly for me. It's the birthday he gave to me.
Cheers to birthdays and the excuse to celebrate. May we always use it to love and show love.
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