Those of you who know me well know that I HATE meeting new people. It's probably one of the only times I truly get sick to my stomach anxious in life. It's crazy. I don't know why I get so worked up about it, I'm turning 30 this year and should not be anxious about new people. Incredibly anxious. So sorry if I've only recently met you and this post offends you. I probably like you now, which is what usually happens. But whenever I was forced to meet you, I wasn't very happy about it.
Given my predisposition to meeting people, I was more than a little nervous about going to my first American Women's Club meeting here in Moscow. Sleeping, if you remember, has already been a challenge, so trying to get out of bed at 9am already had me a little disoriented, then the thought of the terrifying endeavor into the unknown hallows of the Hard Rock Cafe made me nauseous. I told Hubs I was certain that I had a fever. It was probably jet lag sickness or some other made up disease. That, mixed with the chili from La Cantina last night was definitely making me feel faint and he should be nice to me and let me lay in bed until the meeting was over. To be fair, I was feeling extra nauseous than my usual pre-meeting anxiety, and for that I do blame the chili.
But Hubs did exactly what I needed him to do. The magic words "you'll regret not going" got me moving, slow as it was. Amazing how well he knows me. (side note: when I asked him when he got to know me so well, he said "last Wednesday" - our first day in Moscow. HA!)
The meeting was good. I always try and show up late to mixers so I don't have to immediately get started with introductions, and we were right on time at 10 minutes late. We didn't really mean to be that late, but it was a relief to sneak to the back and sit. Hubs is the bravest man I know. He came in with me and sat with me the whole time. In a room full of women, making women jokes and laughing women laughs, thats a pretty big deal.
They had a special program with a Russian family that performed some traditional song and dance routines. The family had seven kids. Just another moment when you see that certain things are universal. A shy 2 year old girl not wanting to leave her daddy's lap, a grandfather holding his grandson with the tenderness only a grandparent can have, a sword fight between brothers and fancy, colorful capes drawing grandest of twirls from the girls. You don't have to look far for the reminders of home.
Back to reality. Show's almost over and I was too distracted to have an escape plan. To top it off, newcomers had to raise their hands AND introduce themselves in front of everyone. No big deal. In fact, it's probably for the best. Now people will think they've met me because I said my name and threw in a joke about the weather to boot. Golden. Now, lets get out of here.
Meeting dismissed and Hubs, unaware that I just want to get out alive suggests we eat lunch at the Hard Rock. I had been hoping the cackling laughs all of us ladies do would invoke the same sense of urgency at leaving, but to no avail. But before I could even respond, someone came up and talked to me. Asking me real questions about how things are going and if I had figured everything out. Apparently showing up to a meeting your first week in town is pretty unheard of. I don't know if it was jet lag, the Red Hot Chili Peppers poster by our table or the chili from La Cantina, but I just talked. Like we were best friends. And I felt relief.
We need people. I need people, however anxious they make me. I love Hubs and he is enough for me, but we both need that outside connection. I'd like for some things in Russia to be learned from a friend rather than trial and error. (funny as those trial and error episodes have been...) And it makes me feel important, this being connected to a group like the AWC. Hubs works hard to provide for us, the least I can do is figure out the Metro or find a less expensive grocery store. And if I think meeting new people makes me anxious, taking the Metro not knowing a lick of Russian terrifies me.
I'm not over my anxiety, even though it is constantly proven wrong. Especially yesterday when we ended up staying an extra two hours after the meeting talking with people and being the last to leave.
Cheers to the welcoming people in this world with hearts bigger than our secret anxieties.
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